Category: Film

  • Hocus Pocus

    Hocus Pocus

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    How else can you tell it’s that time of year again? Let me tell y’all, folks in my town love this movie and watch it every year. So let’s take a look together!

  • The Mummy (1932)

    The Mummy (1932)

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    Yeah, this one came as a no-brainer after I covered the remake trilogy in January. Heh, “no-brainer.” It’s funny because he’s dead.

  • Quills

    Quills

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    I strongly encourage that you tread lightly on this one. Unless you’re fully prepared to go down this road, it’s probably best not to continue. Believe me.

  • Zootopia

    Zootopia

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    Oh, happy, hoppy Officer Hopps. You’re way over your head, but we love you all the more for it. Let’s add a dose of reality to our kids movies, shall we? Well, not too much…

  • Spaceballs

    Spaceballs

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    Disclaimer: It may not sound like much, but this movie is rated: PG From the 80s. ‘Nuff said. Finally! I forgot what quality film was! Bless you, Spaceballs, I needed this. Regardless of my feelings about the Jurassic Park franchise as a whole, it was still fun covering it. However, it’s now time to move…

  • Jurassic World: Rebirth

    Jurassic World: Rebirth

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    in

    Brand new movie. Brand new outlook. I think. Well, hopefully this franchise has learned its lesson, but who am I kidding? I know how this is gonna end.

  • Jurassic World: Dominion

    Jurassic World: Dominion

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    in

    Disclaimer: (Refer to disclaimer from The Lost World) Y’all know the drill: PG-13. While Fallen Kingdom was almost laughably bad, Dominion…insults me. Clearly this franchise stopped aspiring to be good on any metric long ago. Although, this movie proved how they were lying to their fans the whole time. For years, they’ve mentioned how they…

  • Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom

    Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom

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    in

    So, it’s come to this. How can I sum this movie up? It has dinosaurs in it! That’s what you wanted, right?

  • Jurassic World

    Jurassic World

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    in

    After all these years, I’m still not entirely sure what this movie is. Is it a reboot? Is it a sequel? I don’t know, but one thing I do know is it sucks.

  • Jurassic Park III

    Jurassic Park III

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    in

    So, this is a thing. Well, it’s been a thing for the past 20+ years, but it arguably shouldn’t be. Regardless, if it’s a thing that means I can review it.