Disclaimer:

The following film is rated: PG

It can include imagery that some readers may find disturbing or unsettling.

It’s mostly tame and serviceable, but just in case you spook easily you’ve been warned.

It’s possible I’m about to commit a cardinal sin. I didn’t grow up with Hocus Pocus.

I know, I know. Burn her at the stake! Nah, my family just never owned it on DVD and none of my friends ever played it for me. It wasn’t until a couple years ago that I finally saw it for the first time. Yeah, the release of the sequel didn’t influence me at all…totally. So, what was my verdict? Um…I can see why people liked it as kids.

Okay, I get it! It was a different time to say the least. Let me be real, I don’t hate it. I’ll even say I don’t dislike it. If anything, I was just disappointed. Given the overwhelming praise I was hearing, I expected something more akin to The Nightmare Before Christmas. What I got is what I would describe as “Full House meets Sabrina the Teenage Witch.” It’s not a perfect comparison, but it definitely reflects my feelings.

Although, I’ll admit that if I had seen this movie as a kid, I would’ve loved it too. Despite its goofiness often outweighing its dark/twisted side, there is a distinct charm to it. Also, there’s nothing wrong with having a more fun and upbeat Halloween movie. I’m just not gonna act like it’s the epitome of Halloween. ‘Cause it isn’t. It’s also far from perfect. There, I said it. If I lost you back there I get it. However, if you’d like to continue that’s why I’m here.

Let’s light that black flame candle and crack open that spell book to dissect Hocus Pocus.

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Y’all probably don’t need me to tell you what this movie’s about. If you’re reading this review (whether you like the film or not), you’ve at least seen Hocus Pocus. More than once as well if I had to guess. So let’s just get straight into it. I’ll start out by saying that my favorite thing about this movie is the sets.

The designers probably did a combination of model-work, on-location shooting and self-constructed sets. Regardless of what they did, each of these locations feel real and lived-in with a lot of personality. Although, saying that my favorite part of a movie is the sets doesn’t bode well for the quality overall. Speaking of which, let’s look at the star attraction: the Sanderson Sisters.

Despite everything else, the familial dynamic between these three works well. Starting with the lower-tier sisters, Mary (played by Kathy Najimy [last seen on this blog playing another Mary in WALL-E]) is arguably the most useful of them. She has the power to sniff out children to capture for her and her sisters. Her tendency to constantly have her jaw cocked to one side is also a silly visual.

Moving on to Sarah (played by Sarah Jessica Parker [clever]), she’s more the bubbly, bouncing, bimbo type. She does play a role in her sisters schemes, but she’s often being stereotypically ADHD rather than doing anything useful. There’s some charm to her random antics, but she can get annoying from time-to-time. For this reason, she’s the sister that gets the least amount of focus.

Lastly there’s Winifred (played by Bette Midler), the strong and callous leader of the three.

Without a doubt, Winifred is the witch that gets the most laughs out of me. I don’t laugh at everything she does, but she’s certainly the most memorable of the three sisters. In fact, that’s often why people proclaim Hocus Pocus to be “Bette Midler’s Movie.” Her comedic potential is on full display practically every moment she’s on screen whether a joke lands or not. You can’t deny that she knows how to leave an impression.

I’ll even go so far as to say that the supernatural elements of this movie are really enjoyable. One of the other supernatural characters I enjoy is Thackery Binx (played/voiced by Sean Murray).

It’s probably just one of my weaknesses, but I love Talking Cats. The Cheshire Cat, Puss in Boots, Simba and family, even Salem from Sabrina. I just love ’em. While Binx doesn’t have much personality, they at least gave him a tragic backstory. He lost his sister Emily to the Sanderson Sisters and was cursed by them to be an immortal cat. I’ll give Binx points for dedication, because he’s been trying to prevent the Sisters’ return all this time. Except I won’t.

All he had to do was not let an idiot virgin light the black flame candle. What happens? An idiot virgin lights the black flame candle.

The last supernatural character I enjoy is Billy Butcherson (played by Doug Jones [last seen on this blog terrorizing children and guiding Ofelia in Pan’s Labyrinth]).

I mostly like him because he doesn’t talk for the majority of the movie. That means most of the comedy surrounding him comes from his physicality. Being a zombie, he tends to bumble about with a ridiculous gait and occasionally loses his head. Although, my favorite part about him is his attitude. Despite having minimal dialogue, he has a lot of personality. Namely, a crap ton of sass directed squarely at Winifred.

Although, now that we’re done with the supernatural elements, I have to talk about the 90s stuff.

This is my least favorite aspect of the film because it distracts from all the more interesting supernatural elements. Also, it’s not like the main story is even that good. It’s just generic 90s kid’s movie crap. ‘Cause, believe me, this movie is very 90s.

Hey look, a billboard advertising ED pills!

Pauly Shore!

SNOW!!!

Anyway, you get my point. Everything in this movie that doesn’t involve witches, magic and the like is just boring. In fact, let’s take stock of the rest of the 90s clichés in this movie.

To be fair, this made me giggle.

I can keep going, but this review would be way too long otherwise. Okay, just one more.

As I mentioned before, this movie is ridiculously goofy. In my opinion, a bit too goofy. I can’t blame a comedy for trying to be funny. After all, that’s the whole point. My biggest gripe is that there isn’t a strong enough story or enjoyable characters to support it. If it turned out to be a darker and more twisted Halloween-themed comedy I could forgive it. At least there would be risks involved with that. As is, it’s just too safe for my liking.

To the film’s credit, it can get some laughs out of me. If a comedy is trying, that’s bound to happen at least a few times so that’s a good sign. Although, many of the jokes are centered around the Sanderson Sisters trying to navigate the 20th century. I don’t have a problem with this joke on its own, it even made me giggle occasionally. It just gets old after a while.

In isolation these jokes can be funny. However, each of the ones I referenced take place in a span of about 3 minutes of screen time. Practically back-to-back-to-back-to-back. This also happens soon after the Sanderson Sisters are introduced to the 20th Century and reintroduced to the audience. Are you annoyed yet? Don’t worry, there’s plenty more of these jokes to come.

Though, like I said earlier, I could forgive this repetition more if the story was stronger. Unfortunately, that’s not what the story is. In fact, the more you look the more plotholes and unanswered questions you find in this movie. For instance, our gang of 90s protags trap the Sanderson Sisters in a walk-in kiln to burn them.

This defeats the witches for a time. But then they just…come back.

There is no explanation for this.

Also, the book emits a light beacon when Max and Allison (played by Omri Katz and Vinessa Shaw) open it. It didn’t when it was opened all the other times, but it does now for some reason.

After the Sanderson Sisters lose their brooms, they’re able to get new, “modern ones.” We have no idea how this works.

Can Billy regrow lost appendages? He gets some of his fingers removed due to a chance encounter with a manhole cover and a motorcycle. Although, he gets those fingers back later on. What?

Winifred suddenly knows the ins and outs of traffic stops for this joke to work.

The Sisters barely miss our protags only for Allison to be a noisy klutz seconds later. For some reason they don’t hear her.

Also, why does Winifred turn into a statue? Mary and Sarah explode into dust, but she becomes a statue. Sure.

You’ve probably noticed by now that this review is all over the place. At this point you might be wondering “Does Skye like this movie or not?” I understand your confusion. I really do, I know I have a hard time articulating my opinion on this film as well. Although, I’ll give it a shot.

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After watching this movie on repeat for a while, I won’t deny that there are parts of it I like. As mentioned before, I enjoy pretty much all of the supernatural elements. Some of them can be clunky and require a heavier suspension of disbelief, but the ideas themselves are interesting. Unfortunately, this movie gets bogged down by its desire to be a 90s family film more than anything else.

Since I enjoy weird and crazy movies/concepts I definitely would’ve preferred if they went all in on the dark/twisted angle. I understand they have to soften their ideas to make it family friendly. Although, I would’ve loved it if they embraced Halloween in all its spooky glory while still being a family film. It’s not like this sort of movie couldn’t have been made. Heck, the 80s got away with it. Just to be fair though, there’s nothing wrong with liking Hocus Pocus.

In fact, there’s not an insignificant part of me now that enjoys this movie. Even if it’s not my ideal vision for Halloween, the film is still dripping in common Halloween traditions. There’s trick-or-treating, costume parties, spooky decorations, tons of candy, haunted houses, Boris Karloff Jr. and much more. It doesn’t surprise me how this movie managed to shape a generation’s understanding of Halloween.

Ultimately, this movie is harmless. Also, if it manages to get more kids loving one of my favorite holidays, what’s wrong with that? Sure it’s flawed, but if you watch it every year around Spooky Season, go right ahead.

The highest I can rank this movie is a 2.5/5 broomsticks. My opinion is deeply conflicted, but I can see myself watching it in the future if the mood strikes me. I’m not sure when that mood is going to come, but it probably will at some point. However, even if I give Hocus Pocus leeway for the impact it had on Halloween, I can’t be too lenient. The issues are still difficult for me to ignore. I’m a critic at heart and once I see something I can’t un-see it.

(I make no claim of ownership for any of the images used in this post)

(Each of them are owned entirely by their respective copyright holders, which are not me)

(I’m just a humble blogger who talks about movies, I do not make them)

(I’m not a witch and can’t time-travel [unfortunately])